I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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