I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
