I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
where does the pee come out of this thing
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
