Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
