i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize