I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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