Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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