You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
