he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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