In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
