so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
