i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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