i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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