stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize