Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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