Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
God, I missed his penis.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
