he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just invented taco cereal.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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