You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
