well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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