thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
