Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
