Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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