Did you just see the Batmobile???
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
