these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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