I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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