By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
