My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize