I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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