My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
