Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize