i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
