he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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