My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
