I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
