She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
