i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
