I feel like abortions should bother me more
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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