does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
