I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Boobs are out for the taking
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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