Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
