It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize