those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
