Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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