I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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