You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
it was like his penis was on wheels.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
