you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
