so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
