Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
