It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
