Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
