In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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