In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
