I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
