I have demons in me.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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