It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
