so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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