We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
