PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
