still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
