So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
