look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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