watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
